Just a dream
by Snowykittens2
Summary: Isabella finds herself constantly reliving the events in her life that ends with her worst fear coming true. Songfic featuring Just a dream by Carrie Underwood. Pure Phinabella here and very sad. Rated T for a reason!


**A/N**

**Hey guys! I don't know if any of your remember me but I have written for this fandom already. My earlier fanfic was another oneshot called **_**Apology. **_**(If you like any sort of sibling fluff, then that's a story I would highly recommend. :)) Anyways, I have returned with my second oneshot! And this time, it's about the most obvious and typically most liked pairing on the show.**

**This is the first romance thing I have ever written for this website so be kind. :). (Wow, my first romance thing... and I'm writing is about a pairing in a cartoon... oh well, don't judge. This cartoon is cute and kind of funny... in its own way)**

**... This is also my first songfic...( wow... many new bridges crossed here. Lol) The song used here is **_**Just a dream **_**by Carrie Underwood. It's a really good song, but very sad. I would recommend it to anyone. :)**

**So yeah, if you love Phinabella then you'll this songfic about them. It's kind of sad, and I'm sorry if depression about a lost loved one isn't your thing, but I think the way I wrote it is realistic and cute/depressing. So yeah, you'll have to read it to get what I mean.**

**Oh, and bold and italicized mean song lyrics. ;). Just Italicized means a memory. I'm sure you'll guys catch onto that, but just incase you need to know, now you do. :)**

**~Anyways, please enjoy. **

_**Warning: Rated T for mention of Character death**_

_**Disclaimer: Guess what? I own nothing! (I mean if I did... why am I on FANFICTION?) Anyways yeah. To be more specific, I don't own Phineas and Ferb or Carrie Under wood's song "Just a dream"**_

The comfortable blue and purple blanket covers my flesh with the softness of a fluffy cloud_. _The hair on my head, nothing but a tangle of branches matted together with black fuzz sticking out can be seen resting on a pillow. My dark ocean blue and glassy eyesstareat the wall beside me. Eyes blink to touch my heavily smeared mascara face. I find myself whimpering softly as I curl up tighter under the sky blue and violet purple blanket.

Today was August 1st.

Normally a special day, a day I have always forward to in some sense.

It wasn't really special day for me specifically, but it was special to most wonderful guy out there.

It was special for my husband to be, Phineas Flynn.

But he would miss it... his 19th birthday now... and all of the birthday's after that. He would never again celebrate a birthday with me. With a big, delicious, creamy and moist cake and loud, heart banging inducing, and colorful fireworks and whatever else everyone and I could come up with.

_**Just a dream**_.

And that was simply because... Phineas Flynn was gone. Gone. Not of this world any longer. He would no longer light air with his hearty laugh, warm the earth was his smile, or create amazing things for us. No, never again.

It was simply because Phineas Flynn was dead.

_**Oh, this is just a dream.**_

"I should have stopped him..." I whisper, the feeling of wanting to burst overcame me, but I did my best to keep it in. I knew it wouldn't be long before the feeling of wanting to burst would win, and salty drops would dribble down my cheeks soon enough. All it would take was the memories to engulf my brain once more, just like it did every day since a coffin holding the body of my love was lowered in the ground forever.

_**Just a dream.**_

"_You're... you're going join the military?" A girl with long beautiful black hair and dark blue eyes exclaimed._

"_Yes... I'm 18 now Isabella, I have a right too." A red head retorted._

"_Phineas, do you know how many people die? What if you die too?" Isabella whimpered as her eyes slammed shut. "I can't lose you!"_

_Phineas whimpered a bit too as he sighs and pulls Isabella closer. Ocean blue eyes rise to meet another set of ocean blue eyes. After a small bout of nothing but the silence and stillness of calm wind, the two lean closer and gently connect lips. A sweet, soothing gesture for both of the teens._

_After a few second kiss that seemed to fix everything briefly, Phineas spoke again, destroying that idea of perfection. "Isabella, you know me. I want to make each day count. And now that I'm 18... I have a right to do what I want... And I do want to keep inventing stuff with Ferb, but it's time I put my effort and skills to better use." The red head reached out to gently brush away a stray strand of black hair. "By serving my country, I can feel like each day I'm doing good and making the most of each day. I'll do this for a good amount of years then go back to inventing things. This won't be forever. And I'll be bac., I won't die, for three reasons."_

"_What are those three reasons?" Isabella questions quietly._

"_Well, one. I have the most beautiful, talented, and intelligent girl waiting for me back here. I won't disappoint her in returning back." Phineas whispered with a smile. Which earned a giggle from Isabella. "Second, I have a lot to offer this world... and I want to use up every drop of what I can to make each day of my long life span count. And..." All of a sudden, Phineas pulls away. "Third..." He reaches behind him. "I want to be able to come back to marry my love then spend my life with her."_

"_Your wife?" Isabella questioned, a mix of thousands of emotions running through her eyes._

"_Yes, my wife." Phineas pulls out a jewelry case and flips it open, reveling a beautiful diamond ring, worth at least a few months salary. "Isabella? Will you marry me?"_

_The amount of joy suddenly filling Isabella's eyes was a number that couldn't be named. It was too high for any scientist to know. Her eyes were shining with as much light as the sun, and her emotions held more happiness then a glass does with water._

"_Yes, I will marry you Phineas Flynn!"_

"Why did I let that stop me from stopping him... now he's gone... and I didn't even know till the wedding night..." I find myself already fighting to push back to the tears wanting to roll down my cheeks.

_**It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen.**_

_Isabella ran the bristles of the brush through her dark as night hair, a smile of pure joy on her face. Tonight was the night she would become Isabella Flynn.__Her birthday 2 weeks ago marked the day she was an adult and could get officially married, and luckily, her mom and Phineas' mom didn't protest. After all, she and Phineas had been engaged for months now_.

_**All dressed in white.**_

_A Snow white dress cover her beautiful skinny frame. In the right light sparkles could be seen as they danced around her. _

_She glanced to her right to see the wedding head piece, also pure snow white._

_**Going to the church that night.**_

_The church was now the only thing left. Once there, the best night of her life was nothing but an automatic ride. All she would have to do it strap in, follow the rules, and everything would be perfect._

_She reached out to take the wedding head piece in her hand..._

_She then places it on her head as the image of her walking down that stretch of church to met Phineas and the friar unfolded before her_._The scene of her perfect night could already be seen... she could smell, taste, imagen detail perfectly. _

_All of a sudden, the sound of a knocking door disrupted the raven's blissful fantasy. With a surprise guest at the door, she had to snap back to reality. _

_Isabella walked downstairs slowly, wondering who her guest was._

_She opens the door to see a man in a green army outfit just outside. The color of his outfit reminds her of a dark green leaf canape. Gold stars that shine brighter then silverware can be seen._

"_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro?" _

"_That's me... at least right now. May I help you?" Isabella asks kindly. She had no idea why someone from the army was here, after all, Phineas was already at the church waiting, right?_

_The army man nods and draws one hand from behind his back__**.**__ A white envelop filled with nothing but dread and fate is handed to the soon be wife. Confusion glitters in the dark icy depths of Isabella's eyes. She slowly opened it to read the contents inside._

_~Dear Isabella Garcia-Shapiro_

_The department of the army deeply regrets to inform you that your beloved one, a loyal private, Phineas Flynn of the U.S. army, was killed in action in the performance of his duty and in the service of his country. _

I knew there was more to that letter. I know to this day there was more of that letter. But I didn't care. I only cared what had been said earlier in that letter. The letter I was reading now.

The part that told me my greatest fear had been realized... Phineas had been killed while in the line of duty.

Every time I had the same reaction. It was whirlwind of feelings that was more crazed then a category 5 hurricane_. _

First the confusion. _"How did this happen?"_

Then the built up feelings of wanting to cry but trying not to break down. _"No... No! What? NO!"_

Then full out denial. _"This can't be right... this can't be! He can't be gone! Phineas Flynn is not dead!"_

Then uncontrollable fury. _"He can't be dead... he promised me he wouldn't leave me! That freaking jack! How could he leave me!"_

Then finally, the sobbing begins._ "How... How could he leave... Phineas... Wh-Why!"_

Every time... Every time that is what I thought/scream/or sobbed. Tonight was no different. I knew the tears were coming now. I could feel them filling to brim of my eyes lids, blurring my vision. They were blurred up until the point in time when they over flowed and spilled down my check. The salty drops of water either drip down my cheeks or into my mouth.

The ones that fall off my face form the tiniest stains on the sheets of my bed.

The tears left to dribble into my mouth leave me with the taste of salty popcorn.

And no matter where I was, I was unable to stay strong. The death of Phineas marked the death of my true love. The death of the one closest to you is enough to destroy the sturdiest walls, crumble the most solid metal, and ruin the strongest and toughest person in the world.

The only time I was ever managed to stay strong, surprisingly, was at the funeral.

Only because I made myself stay absolutely strong...

_**And when the church doors opened up wide.**_

_The effort normally taken to push doors with the thickness of a church door didn't seem to apply. A small figure managed to push open those thick doors without any struggle. She strides in with grace of an angel, but the look plastered on her face was as dark as a frown from Hades._

_**Trying to hide the tears.**_

_Her eyes shine with the tears of sorrow wanting to spill over yet again, but she wouldn't let a drop fall. She knew now was the time to be strong. Be strong for all fo those who cared for Phineas Flynn._

_**Oh she just couldn't believe it.**_

_Everyone from Phineas' family was here. And friends throughout the years were there too. The black haired girl focused on Phineas' family mostly though. Her ocean blue eyes fall on a British kid with healthy green grass fair, a "f" shaped head, and dark eyes. He was always that quiet kid in the background. Most people think of him as shy. But no, he was the calm yet strong silent type...and the best and closest friend Phineas ever had._

_His name was Ferb. Step brother to Isabella's love, and one of her best friends. Back when she was a kid. When they and the rest of her friends were all still innocent, full of laughter, and no trace of death anywhere near them._

_Next, there was the an older character. She had orange hair as bright as a ripe orange fruit. Her eyes were ones that made now made Isabella cringe. Because now... all she could see with those eyes is Phineas. She was a blood__sibling to Phineas, the only one Phineas had. Her name was Candace._

_The ocean eyes trailed over to a familiar red head figure with hair the same exact color as Phineas and the same eyes as Phineas. Her name was Linda._

_After that, the last figure the black hair girl focused on was a male with short brown hair, black glasses, nerd clothing, etc. He was the geeky father type, but a loving one at that. He wasn't related to Phineas through blood, but like Ferb, he had loved the red head like he was kin. His name was Lawrence._

"_Isabella... darling. Come sit with us." Isabella's eyes raise from the ground and stare at the woman who had invited her over. "Your mom will be here soon I'm sure, she'll join us too. For now, just sit with Ferb."_

_The coldness in the woman's, Linda, voice scared Isabella. She seemed as depressed and cold as Isabella herself. It was understandable. I mean, after all, Phineas was her baby boy... her only one... and now he was dead..._

_Looking at Lawrence, Isabella had no idea what he was thinking. His eyes seemed to be carefully guarded to show no emotion .Candace seemed to be like that too, as if she had no intention to tell anyone what she felt._

_Ferb was different though. Normally he was the guy anyone would think of as quite, and his emotions carefully locked away with hundreds of locks. But now... he seemed like an open book. His eyes were shining with unsheded tears and his features were ones of depression and sorrow._

_Isabella's and Ferb's eyes lock briefly, and for a second, time stops as similar feelings and thoughts are exchanged ._

_Isabella blinked slowly at her friend. Never before in all the time she had known him had she seen Ferb this emotional, not even when he spoke... It was so different, so shocking... but in a way... Isabella understood. She knew why Ferb was like this. This marked the end of his best friend, the person he was closest too, his most trusted guy to look up too, his brother... _

_He was gone... forever._

_The pain the two of them felt... it was very similar and very real. The amount of pain was enough to die with... but it was pain that had to be endured no matter what. And right now, these two people who were probably the closest people to Phineas, were feeling the worst of it..._

_The only difference was... Isabella felt the horrible pain with 10 times more force. After all, a broken heart that is created from death is one that couldn't even be imagined in the most evil and twisted minds._

_And everyone should know that pain like that needed as much closer as possible..._

_**She heard trumpets from the military band.**_

_Isabella had no intention to sit down yet, she needed to see a certain body one last time. She couldn't stand just seeing a wooden container that had trapped her love inside. She had to see him, one last time. So, she shakes her head, her voice silent. She was too afraid to speak, fear that sorrow would choke her voice enough to break the damns holding back the tears._

_The sound of trumpets plays in the Raven's ears as she slowly treks forward, the coffin before her, holding Phineas, was open just enough to peek in the triangle faced red-head._

_**And the flowers fell out of her hand.**_

_Fist clench at the sight of the dead male in the coffin. No... No, no matter what Isabella did. She would forever know, deep down, that Phineas was really dead. There was no way her love wasn't that body. She knew him anywhere, and that body was defiantly her love._

_She had no strength to hold onto anything anymore, except her emotions. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she controls herself enough to not break down in tears. There was a time to cry, but that wasn't now._

_Now was the time for the funeral..._

_Now was time to be strong, for Isabella knew Phineas' spirt, or at least she hoped, was watching over them right now._

_**The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray.**_

"_Let us pray." The Friar mummers to the crowd, now Isabella was standing beside the familiar figure of a step brother with green hair._

_The words are nothing but raspy wind blowing into tone-death ear drums._

_**Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard.**_

_Isabella was shocked out of the prayer by the sound of sad singing. A song about those that had passed and were no longer with the world. The lyrics, song, and tune all together was enough to depress to giggliest child out there._

_**Then they handed her a folded up flag.**_

_As the choir would sing, an army man saunters up, passing out a few flags._

_One goes to Ferb._

_One goes to the parents that raised him._

_One goes to his older sister, Candace._

_One goes to each of his pairs of grandparents._

_Then the last one was handed to Isabella. The raven had no idea whether to be touched by this or not._

_**And she held on to all she had left of him.**_

_But this flag... it was symbol for Phineas. And Isabella would do all she could to worship it forever. Every last piece of thing from Phineas she wanted to keep, Memories and to keep the red head even somewhat alive. She had to hold onto everything she still had left of him..._

_**And then the guns rang one last shot.**_

_Isabella was unaware of how long she had sat in her seat with flag clutched protectively and lovingly to her chest, but the next thing she new, the click of guns alerted her of what was happening next._

_The guns fired a shot._

_**And it felt like a bullet in her heart.**_

_It felt like the bullet itself had pierced her heart, leaving her to die._

I know for a fact, to this day, that bullet shot was the last thing Phineas heard... before he... left this world...

"It should have been my voice..." I growl, my unkempt fingers gripping the blanket with sharp razor fingernails. My voice was the last thing he should have heard! Whispering a final good bye on his death bed as he fights some deadly disease at age 90 or higher! But no... no... he left me!

_**Baby why'd you leave me?**_

"Why did you leave me Phineas Flynn! You promised me you wouldn't!_**" **_The blanket comes off suddenly as I scream to my ceiling_**. **_The tears are stremaing down my cheeks now in rivers as my messy hair flares in anger. My gaspy breathes sound like hyperventilating and I know I was trembling like I was in a room that was colder then Antarctica.

_**Why'd you have to go?**_

"Why did you have to go? I loved you! Why did you leave me!" I sob/scream as I grip the matted fur that was my hair. I wish Phineas could hear me. I wish with all of my heart and soul that my screams and pleas would be answered by the red head himself descending to me. Descending to me to rejoin me here and be with me forever.

_**I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.**_

I really had been counted on forever. I never expected the ending to come so soon, so quick, with not even a memory of him as my husbandto comfort me a little.I still wished some way my pleas would be answered and he would be mine, and we could be together, in each others love and embrace, forever

_**I can't even breathe.**_

I know it won't happen though. I was alone now. We weren't together and we wouldn't be together forever. The thought makes my breathing even more choked from gaspy sobbing.

_**It's like I'm looking from a distance, Standing in the background.**_

I know exactly how I look right now. Pitiful, pathetic, unhygienic. But I didn't care. Not about my health, well being, or anything or anyone else out there. All I cared about now was Phineas.

_**Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now.**_

Everyone is telling me to move on, live. That he isn't coming home... and that it wasn't the end of the world or anything. And to basically move on with my life. But for me, it was the end of the world. Phineas was my life. Ever since I meet him. I always would ask 'whatcha doing' and I would always want him to be with me. I cherished every second with him and was the most happy when he finally got common sense and asked me out at age 15.

The point was, Phineas really was my life, and I wasn't sure I could even attempt to move on without him...

_**This can't be happening to me.**_

Is this really happening?Why? Why me? What did I ever do to this god forsaken world to deserve this much pain? This much suffering?

_**This is just a dream.**_

No...

This was just a dream. A horrible dream. This much pain and suffering. I didn't desereve it... no one did. This was just a dream, a dream I can't escape.

I close my indigo eyes once more and flop onto my bed, covering myself once more with the safety and heat shelter of the blanket. I found myself wanting nothing more then to really dream. Because now, dreaming was better then reality.

Because this dream, in reality, was nothing but a nightmare.

A nightmare... that wasn't... sadly... just a dream.

_**Oh, this is just a dream.**_

_**Just a dream**_**.**

**A/N**

**Hope it wasn't bad... I'm more of a siblings or friendship writer. Not a romance gal. :/. But hopefully this was good enough for yalls standards!**

**I'm also sorry for grammer mistakes or whatever else might be wrong... Haha... xD.**

**Please go ahead and review for your thoughts. Tell me if you loved it, it made you'd cry, warmed your heart, you disliked it, you hated it or whatever! I just ask you review please. I need to know if I'm doing things right or if I need to improve. :3.**


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